Give Up Puppy Because it’s a Puppy…

We have to agree with the commenters (over 3,000 comments) that this article (see below) is stupid. Why? Because you do not take home a new puppy and get mad when it cries in the crate, wants to potty at 3 or 5am?

You should not be owning a puppy if you have no time, no patience, and don’t want to clean a crate if your puppy is not crate trained. Just buy an old dog already. Or get one for free.

THIS IS WHAT DUMMY DUM DUMS DO WHEN THEY CAN’T TRAIN A PUPPY:  thank goodness they didn’t adopt a human child.

“My husband and I did the unthinkable: We returned our 5-month-old puppy to her breeder despite the fact that our family loved her and thought she was adorable.”

This was not our first dog. Our first puppy, a soft-coated wheaten terrier we named Lambic, lived to be 14-and-a-half, and we were heartbroken when she died. I thought we would never get another dog, yet, two months after Lambic died, my husband, daughter, and I went to see a litter of wheaten terriers and fell in love with the one we brought home. Truthfully, our puppy picked us when she sat in my 13-year-old daughter’s lap.

We were smitten.

Our daughter named her Eevee, after the Pokémon character. Eevee did great on the two-hour drive home. The trouble began the first hour Eevee was in our house. We tried to put her in the crate, which something Lambic never minded, so we could eat lunch, but Eevee wouldn’t stop crying and barking. During her first two weeks with us, we slept with pillows over our heads to drown out her barking at bedtime.

I work from home most days and thought that would make housetraining easier, but I soon realized it made it harder because there was no set schedule or routine for Eevee. Some days she wouldn’t go in the crate at all. Other days she would be in the crate for three to four hours. At a six-week training course, we were told to put Eevee in the crate several hours a day even when I was home. I would lure her into the crate with treats and pretend to go out, but Eevee was smart enough to sense I was still home. She would bark and whine until I let her out again.

I soon realized that Eevee wasn’t Lambic, and much like children, no two dogs are alike. Plus, my husband and I were used to an older dog that knew our family’s patterns and rhythms and didn’t need the constant attention and discipline of a 2-year-old child.

Don’t get me wrong; there are things we absolutely loved about Eevee. The way she rubbed her eyes with her paws when she first woke up, the little mewing sounds she made when you rubbed her belly, and the way she put her entire head and upper body out the car window to catch the breeze.

Even some of the naughty things she did were adorable. She liked to steal socks, even when they were still on our feet. She would bark at anyone eating Greek yogurt because she wanted some, too.

But all her cuteness couldn’t make up for the stress she was causing us, and slowly my husband and I started to hint that perhaps she wasn’t the right dog for our family. We had honest discussions with our daughter about how frustrating it was to be woken up at 2 a.m. and again at 5 a.m. because Eevee needed to go outside and do her business. We explained it bummed us out that we no longer went out as a family because leaving her in the crate for a few hours while we went to out to dinner or a movie often meant coming home to a messy puppy and crate.

Our decision to give up our puppy wasn’t as unusual as I thought.

The most common time to give up a puppy is after six months, Jme Thomas, executive director of the Motley Zoo, an animal rescue in Redmond, Wash., tells Yahoo Parenting. The time between 6 months and 10 months is usually the tipping point because this is when a puppy will try to push boundaries, she adds. “For even the most well-intentioned person, a dog might be too challenging, or it might not have been the right time to adopt a dog,” she says.

Before adding a puppy to your lives, Thomas says, you need to consider the expense, which is easily $2,500 or more during its first year alone, and whether you are ready to welcome a “toddler” into your lives. Having a puppy, she says, is like having another child who needs to be socialized, trained, and disciplined.

We were fortunate because our breeder welcomed our puppy back. If you don’t have that luxury, Thomas says to look for a rescue in your area rather than bringing the puppy to a shelter. And, if a shelter is the only option, check to see how crowded the shelter is and how often it is able to place puppies in new homes.

The hardest part about the entire situation was telling our daughter. She had promised to help take care of Eevee, and for the most part, she did. But as much as she was willing to walk the puppy and play with her, it wasn’t enough, and it didn’t ease our stress.

Although my husband and I shared with our daughter our concerns about the puppy and our stress level, we never actually asked her whether she thought we should return the puppy, and Elaine Taylor-Klaus, parent coach and co-founder ofImpactADHD, says that was a mistake.

“You should have made the decision with her,” Taylor-Klaus says, “so that she was part of the decision and it wasn’t something you imposed on her. You can even tell her, ‘We are going to make the final decision but we want your input.’”

“The hardest thing to do in a family is to have the critical conversations,” Taylor-Klaus says. “Your daughter needs to know how hard it was for you and to see that everything in life is not all idyllic.”

(Photo: Lisa Rabasca Roepe)

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  • C
    Cathy 2 hours ago


    Sorry, but these “people” failed this little dog. This is what baby animals do. Did it take time to train your first dog to stay in the crate alone? What made you think a baby was going to like being in a crate without whining or crying? What made you think that a baby doesn’t have to go to the bathroom more often than a grown dog? The problem wasn’t the dog… was you! You took it back without even considering that this little life had bonded itself to yours because his being a baby was inconvenient for you. When you choose to take an animal into your life you also choose to care for and love that animal for the rest of ITS life.

    I can see finding another home if the owner passes or if you find yourself homeless, etc. Otherwise, you’re just a selfish pos.

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  • E
    Equinox 7 hours ago


    At least the breeder took it back, and they didn’t take it to the shelter. After having older dogs and losing them to old age, I decided to get a jack russell puppy. That pup cried for weeks. We considered taking her back after the first night thinking we made a mistake. We forgot what it was like to have a puppy. But after some crying from one of the humans, who will remain nameless, we decided to see it through, and that was eleven years ago. And she turned out to be one of the best companions we ever had. I can see why the shelters are so full. People don’t realize how expensive vet care is, and they don’t understand the time, and patience it takes to train a dog. The first year is so important . We teach them everything, and if the animal fails, it’s because we didn’t do our job. When you take the time, the rewards far outweigh the inconvenience. My dog is the first thing I want to see when I come in the door, well almost the first thing.

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  • S
    Susan 1 hour ago


    Ok I normally don’t comment on these things but this hits a raw spot. As someone who lost a beloved dog to lymphoma 6 months ago, has an 8 yr old sibling dog and 3 months ago got a puppy, I can not understand the lame and weak excuse of sending a puppy back to the breeder because they couldn’t deal with the puppy phase??? Seriously!!?? What did they think it was going to be like? It’s a puppy!! Might as well have brought a newborn home and then take it back to the hospital because you couldn’t deal with changing diapers and the crying and midnight feedings?! YES a puppy is work, hard work. It takes patience, understanding and perseverance, not to mention getting thru the nasty teething stage. How completely weak. ANY adult dog from the shelter could have had a period of harsh adjustment to a new home. Maybe you aren’t cut out for a dog anymore. They actually have certain needs that you may not be able to handle. Get a stuffed dog instead. With all the work and late night wake ups for growth spurts, hungry or needing a potty break, nipping because his mouth is erupting with new teeth and swollen gums, teaching him what is ok and what is not, at 4 1/2 months of age I can not even imagine sending my puppy back. Nor would I have traded one minute of all the late nights I was up tending to my beloved dog after a reaction to chemo. You love them thru it all, grateful for having them in your life.

  • Essentially this puppy acted like a puppy and these people forgot what having a puppy was like. An 8-20 week old puppy can’t make it through the night without having to go out. Their bladders aren’t big enough. So of course she was going to bark and whine. She was uncomfortable.

    They tried to “put” her in a crate and hour after they got her home. From that dog’s eyes, you just ripped her from everything she’s ever known and stuff her in a cage. It’s freaking traumatic! Of course she was going to bark and whine. Crate training has to involve making the crate feel like a safe space for the dog. They made it a punishment. And you never put a puppy in a crate for more than 15 minutes at a time or so until they get used to it.

    This poor dog was exactly like their other one was at that age. They just didn’t feel like doing what you were supposed to do and trashed the puppy. I hope they never get another dog until they learn how to actually train one. Ridiculous. And they’re acting proud about how they returned the dog to the breeder instead of taking it to a shelter. Congrats on following the contract you signed, give yourselves a giant pat on the back. I pay my electric bill every month, following the contract I signed with the electric company. Can I get a pat on the back too?

    What they did was not something to be proud of. What they did was shameful. They got a dog as a toy and when it was “broken” (or actually acting like it was supposed to) they returned it to the store. A puppy or any dog is a lifetime investment. If you can’t make the investment, don’t get a dog. Period. Freaking jerks.

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  • L
    Leo 6 hours ago


    Although, not a puppy, my wife and I just rescued a 3 year old Boxer. The first three weeks, I did not get any sleep because he would cry every time we left him alone ( we were in our bedroom) in his crate at night, so I had to sleep on the couch for those three weeks. He now knows that he is loved and is in a safe place that he not only sleeps through the night, he snores very loudly.

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